“What’s the most challenging thing you could do right now?”
I sometimes ask my coaching clients this question when they feel stuck.
It seems a bit counter-intuitive, to think about doing something challenging when you feel stuck. But it works because it takes your mind far away from the problem and deep into solution territory. It also gives you information about what you’re finding most challenging and even about what you actually want to do.
For me, the most challenging thing I can do right now is keep going with my business.
I’m having some success, but I’d like to have more coaching clients. I’m impatient. It’s only been about six months since I reignited my coaching business. I’m starting to get itching to make more things happen.
So the most challenging thing I can do right now is keep going on the path I’ve laid out for myself. It’s challenging for me to avoid distraction by taking action in a different direction.
Now, it would be REALLY challenging for me to get a 9-5 job right now. But that’s not where my mind went when I asked myself, “What’s the most challenging thing you could do right now?” That’s how I know that staying on the path of growing my coaching business is the place for me.
Challenge means different things to everyone. For someone who is having a really hard time, challenge could be taking a shower, or not cancelling plans made with a friend.
It doesn’t have to be the equivalent of doing a marathon. It just has to feel like a stretch.
My son is applying for graduate school, and man, am I proud of him. But when I visited him last week, he was stuck on the task of asking his professor for the reference letter he needs. He just could not make himself write the email to ask. I coached him a little, and a couple of days later he texted to say that he’d emailed the professor and gotten a very friendly response. The reference letter is on its way.
For him, the most challenging thing he could do was hit Send on that email.
I talked to someone else this week who started a new job. She was really excited and had a great start, but her first day ended with an unexpected conversation with her new leader. She knew she needed to draw a line in the sand and stick up for herself right away, but that felt really hard.
The most challenging thing she could do was NOT be a people-pleaser.
The most challenging thing for her was to change the way she’s always been, and set a new boundary for how she wants to be treated.
It worked. She planned the conversation and it turned into a great step in building a healthy relationship with her boss.
Why do we need to challenge ourselves?
Sometimes it’s the only way forward.
Sometimes we are the only one who CAN challenge us.
Sometimes we need to carve a new path and the challenge is the first step.
I invite you to try it. Ask yourself the question: ‘What’s the most challenging thing I could do here?’ Even just hearing the answer might give you valuable information.
“Do something today that your future self will thank you for.”